New Name, New Mission, New Blog

Hi friends,

There's a new blog. I hope you'll join me there:

http://duncanandsteph.blogspot.com/

Love,

Steph

Wedding.

Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding.
Merging lives. Merging lives. Merging lives.
Moving. Moving. Moving. Moving. Moving. Moving.
Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding.
Showers. Parties. Photos. Gifts. Dress. Dresses. Tuxes.
Merging lives Merging lives. Merging lives.
Work. Sleep. Eat. Snuggle. Work. Sleep Eat. Snuggle.
Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding.
Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding.
Family. Family. Family. Family. Family. Family.
Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding. Wedding.

Wedding.


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Fun Things That Are Happening

Whoa - Steph is posting two blogs in, like, a week? I know. Crazy.

This one doesn't really count, though, since it's going to mostly be pictures I wanted to share with you about awesome, exciting and fun things that are happening... like this:

That Time We Stayed Up Really Late Assembling Invitations (Which Was Totally Worth It Since They Turned Out So Awesome)

That Time We Got to the Post Office Before It Opened (On Purpose) So We Could Get The Invitations Hand Cancelled Because of the Tiny Pearl Thingie On Them

aka - That Time The Lady Who Works At the Post Office Unlocked the Doors and Looked at Us Like, "For Real? The Post Office Isn't THAT Important..."

That Time I Went to Indiana and Saw My Dad's Name on a Corn Tower

That Time We Ate All The Yummy Food The Seelbach Knows How to Prepare. (seriously, come to the reception hungry, people)

That Time Invisible Aliens Attacked Us and D Protected Us With a Deadly Weapon That Doesn't At All Look Like a Thingie That Scans Bar Codes at Stores.

That Time We Practiced Making Bouquets Because My Mom is a Genius

aka - That Time We Gained A Lot of Appreciation for Florists

aka - That Time Steph Learned How to Make Bouquets Via YouTube Videos Via Viv's iPhone

aka - That Time Steph Called a Big Dave on Wiring Every, Single Flower (crazy)

A Dispatch from the Bridal Whirlwind

(Part One)

A week ago, I walked to my car outside the condo to go to work. A lady who was just moving into our building shouted from her car, “You must be Vivian’s roommate!” This is not surprising, Vivian befriends everyone in Dorsey Hills. So I kept walking (running late), and shouted back cheerfully, “Yep! That’s me!” Then she replied, “The one who’s getting married!” Me, “Yep! Me Again!” Lady: “…and who’s never here.” (breath removed, jaws clenched)

I felt really bad about that for a half a day. My head filled with concern about the kind of bride I am, and how it isn’t lining up with the kind of bride I always thought I would be. I’ve watched brides-to-be virtually disappear from their friends’ lives, and thought to myself what a horrible friend she must be. On this side of it, it looks very different.

(Before I go on, let me say very briefly: I am indeed at the condo every night. The reason that lady thinks I’m never there is because I’m never there during WAKING hours.)

The reason I’m okay with being a different kind of bride than I always thought I would be is because I previously had a completely unreasonable idea of what this period of life is like. I would notice brides disappearing from her friends’ lives and think “can’t she just keep things they way they were (job, friends, roommates, church, etc) and just ADD in all that other stuff (fiance’, wedding planning, family merging, etc.)?”

The answer is no. No, she can’t. You see, there’s this little thing called time. And there’s only such much of it. That might sound harsh, but it’s true. That doesn’t mean she loves her friends any less, or doesn’t miss them, it just means there are priorities that are different at this exact moment.

All that being said, it will say this loudly, proudly, and on the internet (which means it must be true): If I drop off the face of the earth after we’re married, slap me around.

(Part Two)

Sunday, Duncan and I worked for nine hours on assembling invitations. I decided to save us some money and make the invites, which created a lot more work for us. So Sunday was nine hours, and last night was another four hours, but they’re finally done. It’s a long, tedious process with many, many, many, many steps, and my brain was mush when it was over.

Last night, I came home, tired and cranky and feeling like I wanted to cry, and I checked my email. There were about fifteen emails from Facebook telling me Ann had left a bunch of comments on the photo album about the antique place in Nonesuch, Kentucky. They were funny and perfect and they made me laugh.

So I sat there in my bed, at 1:15am, grinning vaguely at my computer screen, thinking of Ann and what she would have said if she’d been there that night. She would have said, “Can you believe it? THESE are your WEDDING invitations! They’re going in the mail, and people are going to show up and YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!” And it would have been impossible not to smile.

And that made me think of the last couple of weeks: How I’ve been terribly emotional for no reason at all. How I’ve been forgetting things (like the appointment to pick up…something important (cough) my wedding dress. How awesome Viv is to me when I really don’t even know what’s going on in her life right now. How when Crystal texted on Friday to maybe have dinner that night I seriously thought maybe I could schedule to have dinner with her a week from Tuesday. How I’m lost… caught up… in this bridal whirlwind that is exciting and exhausting and selfish and giving and delicate and momentous and frustrating and tedious and hopeful and consuming all at the same time.

And how I’m not very good at stopping it.

Makes me think of the time when I got engaged, and the world that night was joy and laughter and smiles and phone calls and tears and shrieks and claps and champagne and prayer and dancing and congratulations and Ann grabbing my hand – looking me in the eye – stopping the whirlwind – and saying “friend, you’re getting married!”

Thump. Joy.

And the time I finally got the three of them together and we had their dresses AND their shoes in the same place so I could look at them and that night was laughter and loving the dress and sassy shoes and modeling and I-haven’t-see-you-this-week-how-are-you and hairdos and hemlines and lace overlays and Ann touching my shoulder – looking me in the eye – stopping the whirlwind – and saying “these are the dresses we’re going to wear WHEN YOU GET MARRIED!”

Thump. Joy.

She’s so good at that. It doesn’t take long. Just a few seconds. But you have to think to do it.

And I never truly appreciated it until last night.

So I’m going to try to be better. For the next 81 days – this is my goal.

Stop the whirlwind. FEEL the JOY.

(Lord, hear my prayer.)

Standby….

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Dear People Who Live in Kansas,

I'm not mad. 

I mean, you WON, but I guess that was always going to be the case with your something-in-the-water way you addict people who were born there to yourself.

So, instead of being a bad sport, or whining, or crying about it, I'm going to make sure you know what you're gaining:

You're gaining a person who is just the right kind of friend.  The kind of friend who drops everything for you.  The friend who knows when silence needs to be silence and when silence needs to be broken with some laughter.  The friend who knows when you just need to cry.  She's the one who is crazy-busy, but is constantly sitting in her car, catching up with a friend who lives far away in her few spare minutes before she has to lead 348 elementary school students in learning about dynamics.  Because it's that important to her.  The type of friend who teaches everyone around her something about real friendship.

You're gaining a person who loves her family.  Loves them so much she chooses them over everything else.  Many times.  She loves them so much she chooses to go through this emotionally-draining exodus of Louisville, with prolonged goodbyes and tearful cheers and heart-wrenching hugs and exhaustion, to be near them.  And to those of you who aren't her family, this point may not feel like much of a blessing, but let me assure you it is.  When you see her unshakeable devotion, it almost startles you at first, and then blesses and blesses and blesses and blesses you.  And challenges you.  In the best way.

You're gaining a person who is constantly learning about herself.  Not in an I-need-to-discover-myself-by-backpacking-through-the-hills-of-Spain sort of way (though I think she would probably be up for that), but through life.  She isn't taking a break from life to figure herself out.  She's learning about herself by going through life.  She doesn't just stop thinking and pondering and growing because she's got to workout, and cook, and teach 2,472 kids in a kazoo seminar, and meet her Bible study leader for dinner, and paint something for her walls at home and meet another friend for coffee that night.  No, sir.  Always growing, always listening... for God's call.  Watch closely, Kansans.  Amazing work is being done there.

You're gaining a person who is crazy-fun-from-another-planet.  (the fun is from another plant, not her)  Staycation is fun.  Road trips are fun.  Hay rides are fun.  Sleepovers are fun.  Pool days are fun.  Wrangling little church kids is fun.  4am airport pickups are fun.  Video hunting is fun.  Eating a bagel is fun.  Shoveling dirt in 97-degree heat with chili on your stomach is fun.  It's her laugh.  It's her sense of humor.  It's her smile.  Utterly and irresistibly contagious.

You're gaining a person who is.the.definition.of: SHINE.  Sure, people who are opera singers and performers know how to shine, and, trust me, I've been blessed to see her perform a few times, and she's shining then - but in a different way.  That's not what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the shine that seems like it's coming from UNDERNEATH her skin.  It's there when you're enjoying a beautiful, sun-kissed day at Huber's, but it's also there when you're sitting at a Chinese bistro, pouring out your heartbreak about a conflict in your family, and seeing her cry out of sheer sympathy.  Shine.  It's there even when she's exhausted.  Even when she's sad.  It's a shine that puts hot pink stilettos, mascara, glitter, hairspray and Bedazzlers to shame. 

So, People Who Live in Kansas, don't overlook this treasure you're gaining.  Don't take it for granted. 

You may have won, but I won too.  We all have. 

Love,

Steph

Shoe Shopping with Boys and Stunted Sadness

When Friday afternoon rolled around, and many people were thinking "cookout", "lake", or "remembering the thousands of people who have died for our country", my mind was on one thing.  One goal for the weekend: find.shoes.for.wedding.

I don't know how this snuck up on me.  I had to have them for the upcoming wedding dress fitting.  I think buying shoes online is sketchy unless it's a company you've bought tons of shoes from and you know the size you need.  Clearly not the case for wedding shoes for Steph.

I wasn't finding any shoes in stores that I really liked and fit my needs for the wedding.  Then the previous weekend we searched for shoes for the bridesmaids -- I thought that would be a good time to casually scope out the wedding shoe situation... not true.  So, by the time the next weekend rolled around, I was in Code Red.  I was pretty sure I wasn't going to find what I needed in a store, and that I would have to order five pairs of shoes online to ensure I had the right one for the wedding dress fitting.

I checked a couple of standby places here in Louisville, then resorted to picking the brand and styles I wanted to try online and calling a bunch of stores to ask if they have them.

All my girls were out of town on Saturday, so I ended up surfing websites with D by my side.  He showed an interest in helping me find what kind of shoe I was looking for, and I thought that was sweet, so I threw out the rule about him seeing wedding apparel before the wedding day JUST FOR THE SHOES.  Then I found a little bridal shoe shop here in Louisville called Mr. Louis Bridal Shoes.  It's been around for 30+ years, so off we went.

We walked into Mr. Louis Bridal Shoes, I started talking to the owner and noticed D walking around the store.  Before I know it, he'd done a full sweep of their merchandise and presented me with the three styles he thought I would like to try on from what he learned during our online shoe shopping.  So. cute!

AND, he was right!  Long story short: I found the shoes.  They are awesome.  And it was a great afternoon because D graciously helped, and the rest of my weekend was open.

Yay!

(light-hearted, flitty music suddenly segues into introspective, awkward chord progressions)

What else is going on, you ask?  Well, my BFF Ann is moving away.  Yeah, ANN.

Ann from Conversations About What It Means to be a Godly Woman.

Ann from all my awesome Bible studies.

Ann from This-Is-Important-Enough-to-MAKE-Time-For-Each-Other Friends.

Ann who dropped everything to be with me when I found out my cat was dying.

Ann who celebrated with me and Viv at the thought of the New Heavens and New Earth.

Ann from the Best, Most-Awesome Staycation ever, mostly because she was in it.

Road-ends-in-water Ann.

Stripper shoes Ann.

Ann who goes to see musicals with me.

Ann who tried to hook me up with a guy whose truck I'd just thrown up in.

Ann who wrangled me into the most awesome experience of working with the kiddos at church.

Ann who brings me magical Jersey Mike's sandwiches when I really, really sick.

Ann, the most famous opera singer in the world!

Yeah, you know the one.

She's moving.

Pretty soon.

It's becoming more and more real.  

And...I feel like I'm not giving it enough attention.  I feel like I haven't been still enough for it to hit me.

How terrible am I?  

There will be more on this later... mostly this post is a getting-ready-for-it post.

Getting ready for... saying goodbye to an amazing, beautiful, shimmering, glittering woman who has meant so much to me.

Oh, there WILL be more....

Standby....

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A Whole New Price is Right

Even though I dislike Drew Carey as the host of The Price is Right, that show (as long as it’s on) will always hold a bit of nostalgia for me.  It makes me feel at home, comfortable.  I used to watch it A LOT.  I watched it at Nannie and Papaw’s house… and my two favorite parts were 1.) Plinko (mostly because there was very little skill involved) and 2.) The Showcase Showdown.

 

My favorite thing about The Showcase Showdown is fantasizing about which of the fantastic showcases I would choose (if, of course, I was the highest-dollar winner from that day’s games).  Inevitably, one of the showcases is a trip for two to Italy, a speedboat, a motorcycle, NFL Fantasy Camp, a trip to the moon and one night’s stay in the Lincoln Bedroom at the White House.  The other one is usually a recliner, a blender, and one of those thingies that removes lint from your shirt.

 

The endless drama for me as a child was when option number two was presented to the highest-dollar winner and they chose to pass.  IS IT POSSIBLE the next showcase that they now HAVE to take is WORSE?  It’s a toothbrush and a lava lamp!  Alas, that never happened.  The only thing better than that is when someone breaks the space-time continuum and gets within $100 (now its $250, how lame is THAT?) of theirs WITHOUT GOING OVER and then they win BOTH SHOWCASES.  ::sound of Steph’s head exploding::

 

Another thing I used to think a lot is that I just didn’t understand the people who were presented with option two, and were super excited about it, and didn’t pass that showcase.  I mean, they see a TV, a bedroom suite, and a refrigerator, and they’re hopping up and down like a lunatic!  They KNOW the next one is going to be a trip to Australia and the Hope Diamond.  And yet, they WANT the other one!

 

How bizarre!  How BORING their lives must be!

 

Until.  Monday.

 

I did the early shift on Monday, which means life after 12pm is about food and nap.  I grabbed some food on the way home and clicked on the TV for some mindless nothing until it was time to go to sleep (roughly 14 minutes later).  I hate almost everything on TV these days, so when I saw The Price is Right, I couldn’t resist.  And just in time for the Showcase Showdown!!

 

When I’d seen the bedroom suite, massage chair, grill and hammock, I thought, “THAT. IS. AWESOME!!!”  And even after I’d seen the next showcase, which was Rock Camp, Golf Camp and a speed boat, I still thought the first one was supremely better.  And then I realized: I’m a whole different Steph.

 

Bizarre.

 

 

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